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Tiga bulan pertama hidup di luar Indonesia

Gw kira rasanya akan sama aja. Ada rasa kangen ya wajar karena jauh dari tempat yang selama ini kita sebut familiar. Tapi ternyata ada rasa rindu yang pukulannya berbeda.  Di kasus gw, gw cuma kenal satu orang Indonesia. Beliau bilang kalau mau temen jalan-jalan bisa lah berkabar biar jalan bareng. Tapi karena gw ada kerja dari senin-jumat, sedangkan beliau nggak, jadinya waktu kami seringkali nggak pas. Sedangkan di akhir pekan, gw habiskan bersama suami.  Bulan pertama masih terasa integrasi. Berusaha mengenal supermarket mana yang jual apa. Cari ini itu di mana. Menghafal jalur transportasi umum. Mengenal, membaca dan memahami nama daerah atau tempat dari huruf cyrilic-nya untuk sekedar "kalau nyasar, bisa kasih tau suami lagi ada di mana" karena seringkali online maps dihambat pemerintah.  Bulan kedua sudah mulai mengenal banyak hal. Sudah punya kartu atm untuk pembayaran. Visa panjang juga sudah di tangan. Mulai berhati-hati dengan banyak hal, mana yang boleh mana ya...
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Time runs so fast

Tomorrow is 2016. Time runs so fast. I still remember the first day on 2015, I felt that “Okay.. it gonna be next 12 months”. But time runs so fast. So fast. I felt it’s still January, but yesterday I realize that it is December already. Oh well..
 
What had happened in 2015?

As a life, there are always 2 opposite things. Like happiness and sadness. Like black and white. Like up and down. I felt it much. I remember when I went to Jakarta 2 times in a month. I moved to a new place, a place that wouldn’t be my choice but now I am used to it *unless, someone who always ask me to resign and move back to my lovely place*. First half of year 2015 was great. And next half of year 2015, problems comes one by one. No use to write the problems but yeah problem just a problem. Also I have to wait more… ok.. no problem *it used to be a problem, but now*. I did cried a lot and more often than usual. Just to release the burdens.

My mind couldn’t remember all of things that had happened in 2015.

Wishes for 2016?

Well.. everyone wants to be better day by day. It’s not about the year, just everyone have to be better day by day. And have benefits for others. Me and my beloved people stay healthy, safe and most of all we should be thankful for everything that we have.

For a moment, I lose all my cheerful, lose hope, being pessimistic, didn’t trust anyone, lose everything. I didn’t consider myself as the most person that suffers from all difficult problems, no. just… weary. All those problems happen almost in same time. I even couldn’t believe that it happen to myself. Not about this problem could happen to me, no, but about losing all of my optimist character, cheerful, trust. For a moment, yes.

All that I need is time. Because it will be healed by the time. It could be so hurting now, but I am sure it will be healed soon. Usually I don’t need much time to be healed, but for now I need much more time to be healed. 

Karena memang sesungguhnya Allah tidak akan memberikan cobaan diluar batas kemampuan manusia.

Well.. it is life. It won’t stop until it is asked to.

Thank you and sorry for everyone, for every moments, for everything in whole 2015.

Let’s be positive and optimist in 2016!!

 

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