In attempts to slow_myself_down_away_from_digital_life, I am getting my hands on film camera. Yes, the kind of camera where you need to put the film roll in and then start snapping. If you are lucky, the pictures will turn up good but if not then we let the fate decide. This is not my first rodeo on using film camera, but it definitely the first ever to buy the film and develop it using my own money. It is not cheap, which I know. What can I say, it's an expensive hobby. I used my first film roll to take photos of my favorite people. So it has more human than random pictures. It was on family event. After the last shot, I wanted to develop it before I flew to Bali but they had no lab. Luckily we have the lab in Bali. I developed and scanned the film in Ojisanfilmlab Bali. They're just a google away. They sell the roll as well. I had to tell the TSA to do the hand checking rather putting it through the scanner. They understood. Cimol hides himself in his favorite spot ...
10 years already. 10 years you left us here. I was 15 when you left me with that big regret in my life. I wasn't mature enough but enough to make me think differently. If only I never had this regret, I may be still someone who like to ignore something.
It is true, about what people (and maybe God) says, 'there is a good thing behind a bad thing'. Indeed. And I decided to forgive myself, after years.
How it will be if you still here? What will you tell me if you know that I finally choose him to be with me, for the rest of my life? How you will be? Will you still as strong as 10 or 20 years ago? And how you will treat my kids later? Will you love them and protect them as much as you did for me?
I was so afraid when I got a call from mama, told me that the other grandma is dying. That day I flew to Lombok. I was really afraid that another regret I might have again. But thank God, she was fine.
We are growing older and older. I am not that old yet, but I can see the wrinkles on grandma, mama, and papa face more than 10 years ago.
But, if you are here now, I want to tell you that we are fine. Even Onyo (my lovely uncle) come here much more than before. He treats her mum well and nice. We spent new year's eve together here. Eat sate and fish, and any other dishes. Although the spicy delicious sambal that emak made, make me and aunty got stomachache. But the rest are totally fine.
And I am counting down the day that I will be with him, in future.
I always miss you and miss you more and more. You are not around but we always love you, grandpa.
Jan 6th 2007 ~ Jan 6th 2017
It is true, about what people (and maybe God) says, 'there is a good thing behind a bad thing'. Indeed. And I decided to forgive myself, after years.
How it will be if you still here? What will you tell me if you know that I finally choose him to be with me, for the rest of my life? How you will be? Will you still as strong as 10 or 20 years ago? And how you will treat my kids later? Will you love them and protect them as much as you did for me?
I was so afraid when I got a call from mama, told me that the other grandma is dying. That day I flew to Lombok. I was really afraid that another regret I might have again. But thank God, she was fine.
We are growing older and older. I am not that old yet, but I can see the wrinkles on grandma, mama, and papa face more than 10 years ago.
But, if you are here now, I want to tell you that we are fine. Even Onyo (my lovely uncle) come here much more than before. He treats her mum well and nice. We spent new year's eve together here. Eat sate and fish, and any other dishes. Although the spicy delicious sambal that emak made, make me and aunty got stomachache. But the rest are totally fine.
And I am counting down the day that I will be with him, in future.
I always miss you and miss you more and more. You are not around but we always love you, grandpa.
Jan 6th 2007 ~ Jan 6th 2017
It's terrible to hear about your loss and I express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you mas 😊
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