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Book: The Midnight Library

It is one of the books that blown my mind. It's very well written and would probably relate with a lot of people who are in their journey to find themselves.  So many people are talking about it but I did not buy it until a few months ago where I read the preview on the first pages. Easy for me to see if I want to buy the book or not. When the first pages hook me right away, I don't need to think twice. This book is one of them.  This contains spoiler of course.  Nora, the main character, like many of us, fall into depression and decided to kill herself. But she's not dead right away. She went into a kind of limbo between life and death. In that library she met a librarian, this librarian is a kind of a guide. Our guide that probably tasked when we were born.    The librarian shows her lives that she could have had if she wants to. She is so depressed and thinks that no life will makes her happy enough to live it. I can totally understand her state. I was there....

Are you an introvert too?

Sanur

Introverts are yearning for deep talks and always exhausted for small talks. Small talks can be fun, but only when it's not too much. Deep talk is always energizing. I didn't know back then. It was weird for me that I can't jump into society as smoothly as my friends. I can't do small talks with my neighbors. I tend to stay at home and enjoy my own battle in my mind. I felt that people think I am a quiet person. 

When I start to have my own ideas, opinions, and such, I told myself that I am not someone who can't talk. I remember my English teacher gave us the task to find foreigners to have small conversations with. I didn't live in Bali so I can't just randomly bump into foreigners so we did it from the internet. I guess I am addicted to it because I found some great people to discuss with and we're still being friends today.

Don't you worry, introverts make some friends too. Fellow introverts 😂 No, I mean, I have some extrovert friends and we are working hard to understand each other in the beginning. Once you understand how you roll, everything will be fine. Introverts are not lonely, we're just... enjoy our time alone that much compared to extroverts. 

The conversations I have are getting more interesting because obviously, I am not a high school student anymore, life hit you so damn hard, you need some insights from neutral sides about everything. Sometimes we can't see what's in front of us until someone tells us. 

our favorite spot to go, an empty space.

Someone told me that simple is harder than complex. So I understand that my thoughts are pretty complicated, I tend to think about (almost) everything deeply, if I want to let people know what I think about without simplifying those then they won't understand what I mean. Because when I can be too lazy to explain, whatever comes from my mouth would be "Yea whatever, up to you. It's okay, it's not okay"

My brain is so crowded, I was born that way too. This is also the reason why I blog. Blogging helps me to put everything down in its own boxes. Sometimes you'll read something interesting, sometimes you'll read a piece of my personal thought that probably bore you 😝. I feel so overwhelmed when I did nothing. When I have nothing to do then I start to over-thinking. So I always keep my mind busy. It's how I cope with recent situations lately. It's not fun I can say, but I have to. 

I am quite a talker when I meet interesting people. I am a quiet person when I feel they're just talking nonsense. This is not about who's wrong or who's right. It's only about what I prefer to have. 😉

Slowly but sure, I have to make sure that I fit into society. I don't mean that I need to please people, no. I never do that. I just mean, I know where to put myself if I am in the middle of the crowds. This is not so easy task to do. I tried my best to do it until a friend of mine said "I want to be like you. You can always get to know new people easily, you can jump into something smoothly, you don't feel awkward in the middle of people you don't know, you always have something to talk about." That got me thinking actually, "Oh wow, I am working that hard to put myself in a place where I can still enjoy it but not make someone else feel awkward too"

Hey, I don't say you need to follow what society expects you to do or to have, eh? Nah. Just be yourself. Knowing where to stand will help too! 

Of course, after I do all of that, I'll come home exhausting and need to charge my energy all day all night by myself. 😓

Anyway, are you an introvert too? 😎

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