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Book: The Midnight Library

It is one of the books that blown my mind. It's very well written and would probably relate with a lot of people who are in their journey to find themselves.  So many people are talking about it but I did not buy it until a few months ago where I read the preview on the first pages. Easy for me to see if I want to buy the book or not. When the first pages hook me right away, I don't need to think twice. This book is one of them.  This contains spoiler of course.  Nora, the main character, like many of us, fall into depression and decided to kill herself. But she's not dead right away. She went into a kind of limbo between life and death. In that library she met a librarian, this librarian is a kind of a guide. Our guide that probably tasked when we were born.    The librarian shows her lives that she could have had if she wants to. She is so depressed and thinks that no life will makes her happy enough to live it. I can totally understand her state. I was there....
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What My Grandma Always Told Me

Daisies in Diepenheim

Now I understand why my grandma always told me to take shower, put on nice clothes, put on light make up even when I had no plan to go out. 

I grew up like other kids who never wanted to be told to get shower in the afternoon, or early in the morning. I said, "Why do I need to take shower now? I have no plan to go anywhere." of course, because I thought back then you should look presentable when you need to go out, but not when you're home. My grandma would said, "Ihh you have to clean up yourself and be representable. You look like abandoned kid now! Go get shower."

I hated it. I mean, I dont hate taking shower. I just dont like to be told to do something. 

My grandma would always put on light make up, nice lipstick, after shower. She always kept her wudhu with her after afternoon shower so she doesn't need to wipe her make up when she needed to pray. She always smells good. And oh, she asked the ER nurse to bring her lipstick and powder when she admitted to ER. The nurse seemed shocked but we knew that, she asked why then my grandma said "I have to look beautiful even when I am in ER right now."

Time flies and I am a grown up now. Had a phase in my life where I felt so depressed for months and the only achievement of the day that I could get was able to get my ass off the bed, took shower, and dressed up nicely. That was a little moment when I felt good about myself even just for a little a bit. 

This morning, I planned to go to the beach to have my walk. But the sun shines so bright this morning so I canceled my plan, and will be going this afternoon instead. I am all dressed up, put on skincare, light make up, and I smell good. It already made my day!

Then I remember how I always dressed up even when I am home teaching my kids online, I always put on nice clothes because I like it. Putting on light make up because I look fresher that way. All nice and fresh. That reminds me of my grandma.

Now I understand what she meant by looking nice and presentable even when you have no plan to go out. It's because it's nice to look at ourselves that way. You don't need people to see how beautiful or good-looking you are, but you present that beauty to yourself. Nothing fancy, just looking nice and smells good. Women love beautiful things indeed. 


I miss you, mami!

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